My adulthood was short. It only lasts 2 and a half year. It is freaking short. The first what makes me think I am entering the Manhood is my current education status. I will graduate next year. A bachelor degree to be exact. Ever since my final year start, a demonic nightmare always come to my night. “What would you do after graduation?”. Shit, it is really scary. I can’t even describe how I feel. I am pretty sure this is the feeling of being down since I am unproductive for a week or two.
My childhood was amazing. I have done everything what every kids should have done. My adulthood was pretty messy. I feel like a trash. I have graduated 2 diplomas each years. I can do self-study very well. But adulthood is going to over soon. Manhood is coming. I am 20 and already become a man. I want to say the world belong to you at 24. But 20 is cool. 20 is nice. But I am afraid of failures. I feel I am not a perfect technician in my major. But, to be honest, there are lots of boys and girls who are much worse than my situation. People advice me to look at them and cheer up myself. But what about people above me? They might see me like I see the “much worse boys and girls”. Most of the people above me are richie richs. I want to rich too. I have none. I have to start from zero. I have to start from Level 1 character. I can’t pay to boost up my level like rich kids do. I want to be cool like ’em too. I am not jealous or hate them. I feel so unbalanced. The more I keep moving forward, the more I understand life is not fair. The only way to avoid manhood and extend adulthood is get a scholarship. Well this is so hard but I have no choice. I need to extend my adulthood. Bring it on !
Memorial Notes of Thiha 